Exclusive | 'I tried to live as a man but couldn't': First-ever trans chess player to reach WIM, now French women's champion

NEW DELHI: In the south of Russia lies a beautiful port-side city named Sochi, a place where the Black Sea meets snow-capped mountains.For a young teenager named Yosha Iglesias, who arrived there in 2004 with little more than a chessboard’s worth of dreams, the city became her escape, promise, and, for a brief time, home.Cut to the present, Yosha recently became the first-ever transgender chess player to win the French women's chess championship and only the second transgender woman to win a national title.“I was 16, I already knew that I was, let’s say, different,” Yosha told TimesofIndia.com in a free-wheeling chat. “I wanted to live as far away as possible from my parents in France. And back then, Russia was the capital of chess.”At a modest club in Sochi, Yosha trained under an old Soviet-style International Master (IM) who had once played legends like Mikhail Tal. There, she even met Boris Spassky, the former world champion.“For me, as a young player, it was just amazing,” noted the 37-year-old, who also became the first transgender player in the history of chess to earn the Woman International Master (WIM) title earlier this year.But the brilliance of Sochi’s mountains could not eclipse a truth that was gnawing at her: Russia, for all its chess grandeur, was not the country where she could live freely.'The darkest years of my life'After a year, she returned to France and began working as a chess coach. She was barely 18 but already training children and club players. Behind the 64 squares, however, life was fraying.“I really wanted to transition already back then,” she added.“But at that time, it felt impossible to continue playing chess and living as a trainer while transitioning. The world was harsher back then. I tried to live as a man, but I just could not. I was really depressed. I was also struggling with alcohol. Happiness felt impossible. I was not living, I was surviving day by day.”Those were the years when Yosha teetered at the edge of existence. Yet, something small but strong kept her tethered to life: friendship.“All my best friends are female chess players. Since the beginning, they supported me. Their love and friendship is the most precious thing that I have. Thanks to them, I managed to live through these dark years,” she admitted.Post-transition periodIt wasn’t until five years ago that Yosha finally embraced her identity. “My real life started when I accepted who I already was and began my transition in 2020,” she said. “To be finally seen and accepted as a woman; it felt amazing."But her journey in the chess world was far from smooth.The first hurdle was being accepted as a woman by the French Chess Federation. Then came the unexpected blow in 2023, when FIDE, the world chess body, introduced restrictions on transgender women.“I could understand debates in physical sports. But in chess? It really surprised me,” Yosha said. “To claim I have a biological advantage over other women players, it feels insulting to every woman. It is sexist and misogynist.”Still, France stood by her. “During the French Championship, I never felt different. I was just a woman playing chess with other women. For ten days, I forgot I was trans. I was simply myself.”The sting of online hateBeyond the societal pressures of being a trans woman, she faced online abuse, with each victory inviting a storm of vitriol.“When I became the first trans Woman International Master, when I won anything, I received hundreds of insults,” she revealed. “Sometimes thousands. And I kept wondering, how so many people in the world have the time to insult me? I’m just a chess player.”The harassment often pierced deep on bad days: “It still hurts. Not only for me. Young trans people see it too. And that can break them.”Eventually, she quit Twitter, now X, in November 2024. However, last week, she returned with a single post after becoming the French women's champion, thanking those who had insulted her.“I think they forged my mental strength. Before my transition, I wasn’t a fighter. But I had to learn this fighting spirit,” said Yosha.Financial strugglesEven in France, where parts of medical transition are state-supported, the costs weighed heavily.“I’ve already paid around €20,000,” she explained. “Transitioning is expensive. And when I was 18, earning maybe €1,000 a month, it felt impossible.”When Yosha urgently needed facial feminisation surgery costing €5,000, she turned to the chess community with a crowdfunding plea.The response overwhelmed her as she recalled, “Within three days, players from all over the world donated. Some were friends, some were stars I never met. I felt part of a family. For me, it was proof that FIDE’s motto, we are one family, can truly come alive.”Chess and its lessonsYosha first picked up the game at the age of eight, following her older brother Iannis, who was "winning trophies."“I felt jealous seeing him bring trophies home. At first, he was better. Then he quit for university, and I never quit. Now I’m stronger than him, but I still think he’s more talented,” she laughed.For her, chess has been more than a career; it has been a philosophy. “The first lesson chess teaches is focus. You have to be present. If your mind wanders, even thinking about what you’ll eat later, you must catch yourself and return to the board.”The second lesson is humility in community: “Any success relies on so many people. My brother, who motivated me, my Russian trainer, my friends, the French Federation, my club president. Chess shows us we are all connected. That’s why I’m so thankful.”An avid follower of Buddhist philosophy and a content creatorAlongside chess, Yosha leaned on Buddhist philosophy. “I don’t consider myself fully Buddhist, but meditation and yoga helped me. Every struggle became an opportunity to focus on the present moment, to become a better person.”Outside chess, she enjoys reading nonfiction, going to the movies, and spending time with friends. She also runs a French chess channel on YouTube.“Before my transition, I worked mainly as a chess coach in clubs and schools, but I was too scared to continue because of the reactions of my students' parents. I switched to private lessons, then later turned to YouTube. I waited until I could present myself with my feminine voice and face, though money pushed me to start earlier. On YouTube, it’s mostly fine. People who don’t like trans people just don’t watch, and most of my audience cares only about chess,” she smiled.Looking ahead, she is preparing for a strong open tournament in Spain, aiming for norms toward the titles of Woman Grandmaster (WGM) and International Master (IM).Later this year, she will undergo another surgery and then return in spring with renewed focus. “I am as motivated as ever to give my energy to this fantastic game,” she said.'I was never very close to my parents'Nevertheless, one of the most emotional arcs of her story remains her relationship with her parents.“I was never very close with them. When I was 16, I left to live with a host family in Sochi. As an adult, it was not bad, but distant. We saw each other twice a year. When I came out, it was very difficult for them to accept. It took years,” she admitted.“Now, they see me happier than ever. They have never seen me like this. I’ll visit them to give them the championship trophy. In France, it’s not a cup but a precious vase from the President. I want them to have it.”She continued, “I think they are proud now. It took time. I’m 37, and it took years, but finally, they accept me. I’m happy because they are not young anymore. It is good that at this point in our lives, we can accept and love each other as we really are.”From Sochi’s mountains to Parisian chess halls, from online hate to standing ovations, Yosha Iglesias’s journey is a reminder that the game of life, like chess, is about resilience, patience, and courage to move forward, even when the pieces seem stacked against you.“My best coaches,” she said with a smile, “were not only chess masters, but also all those people who tried to break me. They made me stronger. And now, sitting across the board, nothing scares me anymore.”